“Thirteen of us ate supper, and then one of us died. Unfortunately, he did not rise from the dead to pay his dinner bill. And he wasn’t the only one to skip out without paying, but surely one of the eleven graciously paid for me.”

“Two become one when two are in love—or when the waitress asks about our dinner bill. I’ll pay next time, I promise.”

“I make art for one person and one person only. And as soon as I find that one person, I sure hope he has a lot of wall space, because he’ll be getting a lot of art from me.”

“Everywhere I go, I’m second to arrive. My reputation precedes me, and sometimes it skips out on the bill.”

“It’s easier to win an argument over a dinner you’re paying for.”

“A Cyclops on a unicycle juggling three giant eyeballs couldn’t compare to the balanced vision my writing presents. In fact, noted linguist and translation expert Dora J. Arod had these flattering words to say about my writing: “I wouldn’t read Jarod’s writing—not even if he paid me to read it. And he does pay me to read his writing, but that doesn’t mean I do.” Of course the quote continued on, but that was the only part that was praising.”

“Of all things possible, the impossible is the only one worth skipping sex for.”