“This is a cat’s world, and man’s just allowed to share in it.”

“What is man’s shared IQ? And more important, how thick should my body armor be to protect myself against it?”

“The phrase “The cat’s out of the bag” tells that a secret’s been exposed to the world. But who put the secret, or cat, in the bag in the first place? I thought only kidnap victims were supposed to be kept in bags.
”

“There are whiskers in my soup, and my spoon smells like my cat’s ass.”

“My cat’s favorite chew toy is a pen. I’d wager that he is a better writer than me.”

“A brick could be licked, like a cat’s asshole. But obviously inversed, because your tongue is soft and the brick is rough.
”

“3.5 billion men in the world all share one I love you. That’s why men rarely say it, because there is only one in the world for the whole gender to share and take turns using.”