“This is America. Every vote counts. Sometimes twice, if it helps me get elected.”

“I vote to have my vote voided—which means my vote won’t count even when it counts, and it will count even when it won’t count.”

“Loyalty is for the dogs. Count me among the cats. And count me twice—once for each of my faces.”

“In middle school, Renaldo was voted most likely to vote in a Presidential election. But he was the most obvious choice to receive that accolade, since he was the only 17-year-old at school.”

“In high school I got voted most likely to get voted for something. Even though I was the only one who voted, it still felt terrific being nominated.”

“Most people take four years to get a degree. Not me. I’m twice as ambitious. It took me nearly eight years to graduate.”

“A brick could be used to help America make money. Trust me, this is smarter than letting a central bank like the Federal Reserve make all the money.
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