“Three Guys and a Goat is not a good name for a bed and breakfast. I know, because my two partners overruled my name suggestion.”

“I have pride in my name, because I have pride in myself. I do not represent my name—my name represents me.”

“If I had the word “war” in my last name, like “Flowar,” I’d probably be a peaceful guy.”

“My name is Two Dogs Wink While Chewing. It’s not an Indian name, nor one that reflects my cat-loving nature.”

“Too many men have died in the name of old age. I know, because my grandmother was one of them.”

“I call masturbating “Gregging,” named not after a man named Greg, but a guy named Dave.”

“My name is my reputation. And all I have in this world is my name. Well, and my penis, which shoots out millions of other names.”