“Through the window yesterday I saw a fool talking to himself, and it made me laugh, until I realized it was a mirrored window.”

“The window of life is mirrored. And tinted. And shattered. And borrowed.”

“Tickets are 40 bucks at the window, and 190 bucks if you actually go through the window to get them.”

“I had to close the door on our friendship, because he kept climbing in through my window.”

“You can tell a lot about a person's character by how they do life's menial tasks. For example, I saw my neighbor washing dishes, and I could immediately tell that he was an adulterer by the way my wife's naked body glistened through his kitchen window.”

“I talk about talking like I listen to listening—in a room with mirrored walls that makes me appreciate the infinity that is God.”

“I nearly ran him over after he ran out in front of my car. So I slammed on the brakes, rolled down my window, and said, “Do you realize I could have killed you?” “It was stupid of me to run out in front of you,” he said. “Yeah, it was,” I replied. “But I’m not talking about now. Last Tuesday I could have killed you. Had you in the scope of my rifle, but I let you live. Now THAT was stupid.”