“Throw a pair of Band-Aids over your eyelids, and open your eyes to your wounds.”

“My mouth is often wounded by my sharp words, so sometimes when I’m out in public, I’ll wear a large Band Aid over my lips.”

“If your nipples were on your eyelids, then and only then would I give you eye contact while you are talking to me.”

“Instead of putting a Band Aid on your cut finger, why not just amputate at the elbow? See, I’m a problem solver. I should go into politics.”

“Keep your eyes open, especially if you’re wearing a blindfold while driving. Closing your eyes in that situation could be dangerous.”

“A blanket could be used as a cover of your favorite song by your favorite cover band.
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“You can’t become a famous garage band if you never perform outside your garage. That’s why my band plays in my driveway.”