“Time flows like a canoe floats, and my love would fit in your purse if you’d just empty your money into my wallet.”

“My wallet was empty after the charity auction. Of course, my wallet was empty before the auction too. I donated my time and money to strippers.”

“My love for you is shaped like a left foot. And if you pulled my love out of your ass you’d know that.”

“You could empty the trash and my love for you still wouldn’t fit inside. But just because it won’t fit, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t empty the trash.”

“My wallet isn’t empty—it’s full of hope. Thanks, Obama!”

“Employment: I’ll trade my time and labor for your money. So time is not money, because money is time plus labor. I spend my time saving money, I spend my money saving time, and I labor hard to not labor hard.”

“Water always flows downhill. So does my love. Are you prepared for a flood? You’d better build an ark.”