“To be environmentally friendly, I’d ride my stationary bike to work. I hope my career works out, because it feels like I'm just spinning my wheels.”

“I took the wheels of my bike off in support of your bicycle race to support bike riding.”

“Eating a plain bagel with no cream cheese is like eating the inner tube of a bicycle tire, and I’d rather ride my roller skates to work.”

“I don’t like to celebrate my birthday, because I don’t like taking credit for others’ work—in this case, my mom and dad. Or possibly my mom and the mailman.
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“If my life’s work could fit on a stamp, I’d want you to lick it before I die.”

“The hole in my heart matches the key I gave her, and I’d like it back, along with the key to my hope chest.”

“If I were stranded in the woods with nothing to eat but nuts, berries, and the complete works of Allen Ginsberg, I’d eat the latter first, because at least the nuts and berries might be inspirational to my poetry.”