“To me, the most confusing part about golf is that I don’t know whether I’d rather actually be playing golf, or sitting on the green composing haikus about the landscaping.”
“I watch basketball like I watch baseball: I don’t. I’d much rather watch grass grow. Actually, golf isn’t that bad.”
“I started watching golf for the first time yesterday. I`m really worried about myself. I was actually enjoying it.”
“The only thing more boring than watching golf, is listening to people talk about the golf they are watching.”
“They say golf is like life, but don’t believe them. Golf is more complicated than that.”
“I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.”