“To show you how much I love you, I’d take you to the moon and back. Or try to fake it in a film studio.”

“I’d rather fake my own fog, than fake a steamy love scene. Can I interest you in some mist? It’s homemade.”

“If you put a long-haired wig on and ask nicely, I might sit on your back and ride you like a horse. I believe that’s the only appropriate way to show you how much I love you.”

“As much as I want to make love to you, I’d rather make love to your clone.”

“It's easy to say I love you, but much harder to show it. Be bold. Be in love—and show it. Love is like writing—show, don’t tell.”

“With gift giving, if it’s the thought that counts, then a picture of a Mercedes is just as good as an actual Mercedes. With my new camera, I can’t wait to show you how much I love you!”

“As much as I would love to know what you know, I’d much rather eat your brain with a spoon.”