“To some dogs I don’t like cats, to some cats I don’t like dogs, and to some people I don’t like. Mostly the people I don’t like are lawyers, lobbyists, and politicians.”

“I don’t understand people who don’t touch their pets. Their cat or dog is called a pet for a reason.
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“As an animal lover, I don’t like zoos. I feel the only creatures that should be caged behind bars are politicians, lobbyists, and lawyers. And rapists, but I’ve already listed that three times.”

“I don’t understand people who don’t like meatloaf. Your mom doesn’t make it like Michael Aday does.”

“Birthdays are like politicians. I don’t like any of them, but they still keep coming around.”

“I’m not opposed to new people, I just don’t like their packaging (diapers).”

“I don’t dress like I have any money. And I don’t have any money, which helps enable me to dress like that.”