“Today likes to happen before tonight. Impatient, I guess.
”

“I live for the moment and love for eternity. I mean I’d like to, but I’m too impatient for either.”

“I’m too impatient to be impatient, as impatience often wastes time through repetition and redundancy.”

“She called and said she had to cancel tomorrow. “Cancel tomorrow!” I shrieked. “Does that make today the last day, or at midnight tonight will the world just skip over to the day after tomorrow? But wouldn’t that still make it tomorrow?”

“I like movies that keep me guessing until the end. I always guess flowers, because no matter what type of movie, whether romance, mystery, or horror, nobody suspects the flowers.”

“All my best writing was written before 1982, and then a significant event happened to me: I was born.”

“This morning I ate a hamburger for breakfast, and then wept like a baby into an open jar of mayonnaise. I guess that’s just the champion in me.”