“Trying to resist my love is like trying to hold back a tsunami with a surfboard. My advice is to take up boogie boarding.”

“If I were to hold up a bank with my index finger and my thumb as the “gun,” then I hope I wouldn’t try to use half my weapon to hitchhike my escape from the police.”

“My advice is don’t take advice from anybody. This is good advice, and as such, it’s bad advice.”

“Trying to put a baby back in the womb is like trying to convert a butterfly into a caterpillar, but still I’ve got to try. That’s what being in love is all about.”

“I take my investment advice from my dentist, because he’s just as likely to lose me money as a financial advisor.”

“I need to lay low for a while. I’ll be on my stomach, trying not to arch my back (damn scoliosis).”

“To show you how much I love you, I’d take you to the moon and back. Or try to fake it in a film studio.”