“Walking is so monotonous. Left, right, left, right, it’s also all so political.”

“I watch my feet as I walk along. Left, right, left, right, why is everything about politics?”

“Politics are like shoes. On one side you have the left, and on the other side you have the right. And every politician is essentially a shoe salesman trying to sell you one shoe, either the left or the right, whichever one he stands for. So I guess the only people who vote with complete confidence on election day are the ones with only one leg, and who's political stance matches their needs exactly. But I must say, a person loses a lot of personal freedom when they only have one leg.”

“Boob, like the object it identifies, is such a well-rounded word. It’s as if “Bo” represents the left breast, and “ob” represents the right breast.”

“I know what is wrong, I know what is right, and most importantly, I know what is left. Nothing is left, now that she left and took all her love.”

“OK isn’t just all right—it’s also the abbreviation for the state above Texas.”

“I like watching baseball as much as my grandma’s left ear is loud. (She’d probably give her right ear for a left ear that wasn’t soundproof).”