“We made love like a slice of French toast trying to act like an English muffin.”

“I like food that speaks to me. Food like French toast, English muffins, and Deviled eggs. Oh, oval embryonic spawn of chicken, why hast thou deceived me?”

“She had lips like two wavy slices of crisp bacon, and her kisses felt like gravy on my scrambled eggs tongue. We made love like we made breakfast—and then we made brunch like rabbits.”

“Every time I eat an English muffin I feel like I become more grammatically correct, more refined, more cultured, and an all-around gentleman.”

“We made eyes at each other, and then we made love. We also made other things too, like meatloaf.”

“I remember the first time we made love like it was the second time. We never made love again, and I don’t regret it for a second.”

“We made love like three seasons, but I didn’t fall.”