“We rode the merry-go-round like a couple of lovers. We weren’t though; we were just two horse enthusiasts from two different worlds (I think she was from Mars).”

“Because of the age difference, I assumed they were related, mother/daughter. But they weren’t. They were father/son/possible lovers.”

“We made love for 8 seconds. She rode me like a bull.”

“We were getting a divorce. But not from each other. Then we were going to get married. But not to each other.”

“We talked for four hours. Well, I talked for four, and she listened for two.
”

“I think the most romantic letter you ever gave me was “W,” because it’s a couple of soul mate “V”s. Or maybe they were a couple of letters of the same sex engaging in a homosexual relationship. A “W” is two “V”s in a civil union, but the world is not ready to flip that on its head and let them go for the big “M.”

“She had lips like two wavy slices of crisp bacon, and her kisses felt like gravy on my scrambled eggs tongue. We made love like we made breakfast—and then we made brunch like rabbits.”