“What if a statue of me walked past my clone frozen in thought? Which one of the two would make a better quarterback than Geno Smith?”

“My clone will have my mind, but I don’t mind. Two heads are better than one—especially when those two are one and the same.”

“If you drive the same car as me, and have been in a fender bender, I’ll think, “Boy, that’s what my car could look like.” Same with clones. If one of my clones got beat up, I’ll think, “Boy, that could have been me. Better me squared than me.”

“If I walked in on two of my clones having sex, I’d think it was gay, incestuous, and just plain rude to have not invited me.”

“Do I own my soul, or would two of my clones?”

“I made myself an “I Love Jennifer” jacket out of my old “I Love Jenn” jacket. Two girls, one continuous love. The I Love Jennifer is a little off-center, but then so am I. Better than being self-centered, as my clone would probably say.”

“When I need to be in two places at once, make two decisions at once, that’s what clones are for.”