“What makes you think of me? Don’t say nothing. The answer is I make you think of me. And I’ll make you do it at gunpoint.”

“I eat fog soup (out of a can). You don’t think I make it fresh, do you? You don’t need a spoon or straw to enjoy it—you need a pipe to inhale it.”

“If I have to beat you up to keep you safe, that’s just what I’ll do. It’s this kind of regard for others that makes me believe I’d be a good politician.”

“What is it about money that makes people kill for it? I’ll have to think about that next time I do it.”

“If you say renewable, I’ll think energy. If you say fore, I’ll think play. If you say binary, I’ll think anal defibrillator.”

“It’s me and you, or me and knitting. Don’t make me choose. Ugh, #love.”

“I make love like I make lasagna. Makes me hungry just thinking about it.”