“What’s the point of being the first to arrive? Nobody is there to witness your commitment.”

“If there are two witnesses to a murder, you and the guy you killed, I’d say your secret is safe. I won’t say nothing to nobody.”

“What’s the halfway point on a burrito called? Sadness.”

“At first sign of crisis, the ignorant don’t panic because they don’t know what’s going on, and then later they panic precisely because they don’t know what’s going on.
”

“If body language is 90% of a conversation, then obviously what’s being said is only half as important as what’s not being said. And what are you saying? I can’t hear you when my back is turned.”

“There is safety in numbers. And science. Clone your way to being safe. Nobody can protect you like you. And you and you and you.”

“I asked possible witnesses about the invisible man shaped like a whisper, and nobody saw or heard anything. Which means he was there, and he is probably my father.”