“When bananas blush, they turn brown, not red. And when tomatoes blush, you’ve probably said something really naughty.”

“I want to say something so embarrassing about September that even the leaves start blushing and turning red.”

“People don’t blush when they’re embarrassed. White people blush when they’re embarrassed. Why so embarrassed, white people? Any skeletons in your closet? Oh yeah, that’s right—we’ve got more skeletons in our closet than anybody.”

“When anybody honks at me in traffic, I blush, wave, and shout, “Thanks for being a fan.” Being a celebrity is a 24/7 thing.”

“Things aren’t often what they appear to be at first blush. But embarrassment is.”

“Sunburns are so embarrassing that they always make me blush all over.”

“I want a white car that turns red when I’m embarrassed.”