“When I got married, I could not have chosen a more gorgeous, loving, or perfect woman to crush than the one I broke up with to be with my wife.”

“I made love with a cute woman yesterday. I would have made love with a gorgeous woman, but she was more expensive.”

“I wasn’t very far away from figuring out the secret to love, no more than two miles or so, when my camel broke down and I got shot at by a pack of cigarettes.”

“I just broke up with my girlfriend. My wife will be pleased. But first she’ll be displeased, because she didn’t know I had a girlfriend.”

“I’m rich in poverty. I got no money coming out of my ass. I’m up to my neck in broke.”

“I broke down when we broke up, but I didn’t break in to her house just to break out of my routine.”

“What I want more than a car that goes from Point A to Point B, is a car that stops. I make it a point to break for love. My horn is broke—and so am I, but I get paid Friday.”