“When I saw her naked, my penis went from hash brown to French fry.
”

“I laughed and pointed out that "Hash Browns Mean Nothing Without You" was a pretty good name for a band."Or a song," the Duke said, and then she started singing all glam rock, a glove up to her face holding an imaginary mic as she rocked out an a cappella power ballad. "Oh, I deep fried for you / But now I weep 'n' cry for you / Oh, babe, this meal was made for two / And these hash browns mean nothing, oh these hash browns mean nothing, yeah these HASH BROWNS MEAN NOTHIN' without you.”

“I have ten bucks in my pocket - what to spend it on? French fries - ten dollars' worth of french fries, ultimate fantasy.”

“My father went AWOL the day I got dishonorably discharged from his penis.
”

“I like French fries," I say. I like French fries? I sound like a slow child in a made-for-TV movie.”

“When I saw you, I saw love. When I saw you naked, I saw lust. When I saw you with my clone in a dream, I saw the future.”