“When I see a beautiful woman, my heart doesn't go "Thump, thump." It goes "Hush, hush." I'm very secretive about my feelings.”

“My hush is lush. It’s drunk on its own greenness, just as I’m drunk on my blue silence. What would you say if I asked you to turquoise?”

“On TV, I can hit the mute button and silence any moron. I wish real life came with a hush button I could push and enjoy instant quiet.”

“I wasn’t very far away from figuring out the secret to love, no more than two miles or so, when my camel broke down and I got shot at by a pack of cigarettes.”

“When I smile, not only do my ears rise, but so does my listening ability. When my mouth goes all Helen Keller, you know I heard you.”

“I work hard for my money. It feels very liberating to be broke.”

“I'm going to wear my birthday suit, even though it barely fits in the middle when I get excited and it stretches out.”