“When I think of the Middle Ages I think of castles, Catholicism, and taking your kids to soccer practice.”

“The first door in the hall leads to youth, the second door leads to middle age, and the third door leads to the bathroom. But knock first, because I think grandpa’s in there.”

“I think the best time to launch an assault on a city would be not only in the middle of the night, but also the middle of the sixteenth century. Yawn if you agree.”

“When I think of Vermont, I think of Connecticut.”

“I practice karate moves when I think nobody is watching. It’s all part of being a real American badass, I guess. Chicks dig it. I mean they would, if they ever looked and caught me in a moment of awesomeness.
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“When I wear my wedding ring I think of her. I also think of my wife.”

“When I think about all the thinking I’ve done, I get sleepy, like a coffee-colored bear.”