“When I think of Vermont, I think of Connecticut.”

“When I wear my wedding ring I think of her. I also think of my wife.”

“When I think of the Middle Ages I think of castles, Catholicism, and taking your kids to soccer practice.”

“When I think about all the thinking I’ve done, I get sleepy, like a coffee-colored bear.”

“When I see a poor person I think of me, and then I think, maybe I should pay my clones for all the work they do for me. Then I think, nah, they’re only slaves. Through my clones, I am a slave to myself.”

“When it comes to Schopenhauer, I think I need a To-Go box.”

“The only time I really think is when I smoke, and I quit smoking years ago.”