“When I’m asleep I’m a politician, and when I’m awake I’m a criminal. Throughout the day and night, my mentality never changes.”

“It’s disturbing to me that criminals are freely roaming the streets of our nation’s capital. I’m not talking about escaped prison inmates—I’m talking about politicians.”

“I’m not gentlemanly. When I’m gentle, I’m not manly, and when I’m manly, I’m not gentle.”

“By day I’m a dishwasher in a suit. By night I’m a dishwasher in pajamas.”

“I’m a nail biter. Not when I’m nervous, but when I misplace my hammer.”

“When I’m tired, I say, “I’m calling it a night.” Well, what else am I going to call it? Nathan?”

“Not only did I not get it done, but I’m over budget too. I’m like a politician.”