“Why do old people drive slow? They have the least amount of time left on earth, so you’d think they’d drive the fastest, to make the best use of what little time they have.”

“Business idea: People like to eat and drive, so why not make edible cars? Instead of gasoline, they’d run on coffee.”

“This might be the last time you get to drive the beef bus to tuna town,” I say. “You’d better make it good, so I don’t have any excuses to forget your hot ass.”

“See?" he said, with an unholy amount of glee. "I hardly broke any laws at all. I should drive more often.""No. Trust me, you shouldn't," Eve said. "Think of all the little old people and the children.”

“Best advice ever: Drive slow in parking lots.”

“If you had your way you’d pass a law to abolish all the little jobs, the little things. But then you’d leave yourselves nothing to do between the big jobs and you’d have a devil of a time thinking up things to do so you wouldn’t go crazy. Instead of that, why not let nature show you a few things? Cutting grass and pulling weeds can be a way of life, son.”