“William Penn would be a great pen name. But for love letters to manicured lawns, trees, and benches, the best name would be Nicholas Parks.”

“A great band name would be Tickling Whiskers. Especially if the lead singer is a cat. I’d love to audition for backup dancer.”

“Making benches is no walk in the park. It takes one a lot of love to make a bench, and then it takes two to make love on that bench.”

“When I hear your name, I involuntarily clench my butt cheeks. Is that love? I don’t know—I’m not Nicholas Sparks.
”

“I’d love to work with an Asian guy named Wu Hu, because just saying his name would get me all pumped up and excited.”

“I think a great book title would be “Ida Says ‘I do’ in Idaho.” It would be about a divorce in Washington State, and the protagonist would be a woman, though I’m not sure what her name should be.”

“He had a last name for a first name, and a last name for a last name, but only because it came after his first name (the one that sounds like a last name). Otherwise, his last name would sound like a first name.”