“With my wedding photography business, I want repeat customers. So hooray for divorce! That’s why I take lots of pictures—of cheating spouses.”

“For your birthday, I got you a box. Hooray! It’s empty, so you can fill it with whatever you want.”

“I want to be my own wedding singer at my own wedding. But first I’ll have to audition.”

“I don’t want to bring it up, but you do live on the top floor and the elevator’s broken. So that’s why I don’t want to bring it up.”

“I want to hold my grandpa in my arms and pet him while I fall asleep. That’s why I’m learning to play the guitar.”

“I wanted a divorce, so I bought myself a house, to give me the incentive to stay married.”

“I want a driveway so long you couldn’t see the end of it even if you were 26.1 miles into running a marathon on it. But why would you run? That’s why my clone will have invented teleportation.”