“Women get lonely, while men merely get horny. I should know, because I’d feel lonely even if I were surrounded by 11 clones of myself.”

“I don’t deceive myself. No, I get my clones to do it for me.”

“If I had a clone, he’d better be my equal, and not my better. Can you imagine how I’d feel being jealous of myself?”

“I’m older than myself. At least I will be, once my clone gets here.”

“I called to tell her I loved her, which was smart, because if I’d have done it in person, I’d have caught her with another man. I don’t care if he was my clone, it isn’t right and it pisses me off. I was backstabbed by myself.
”

“While getting a haircut, I thought about my failed marriage. Instead of feeling bad, I thought I’d grow a beard, move to the mountains, and start over.”

“If I were to come back in another life, I’d like to be reincarnated as my own clone.”