“Work hard or don’t work hard, either way your hair will turn gray. I should let you be alone while you die, slowly.”

“A brick could be used to balance work and play. Just place the brick on the top of your head, and don’t let it drop. This will ensure you don’t play too hard—or work too hard.
”

“With intellectual labor your hard work is forever, while with manual labor your hard work is temporary and soon forgotten.”

“Do I attribute my success to hard work, or sunscreen? If you want the truth, maybe you should ask my new albino secretary.”

“In a good economy, people work hard to succeed. In a bad economy, people work hard to not fail.”

“I’m working hard to edit my book, so I can get it up for sale so that nobody can rush out and buy it. Hurry and purchase! You don’t want to be the first one to not be the first one.”

“I work hard for my money. It feels very liberating to be broke.”