“Working in the hotel business I have learned a lot about people. It’s amazing what you can discover about someone by watching them when they don’t know you are watching, especially if they are asleep.”

“I don’t call watches watches, I call them grasps, because one, they grasp onto your wrist, and two, time isn’t something you can watch; it’s a concept you have to grasp.”

“There are going to be a lot of eyes on this year's annual Blindfold Convention. People always want to watch what they can’t watch.”

“Cats are always there when you need them, asleep, telling you with their body language that they don’t need you.”

“If you’re thinking about killing someone, don’t. Not don’t kill them, but don’t think about it—just do it already.”

“I can draw like it’s nobody’s business. I use my door as a canvas, so don’t knock, because it’s nobody’s business.”

“If I own a business, I work for myself. And if I have no revenue, I work for free. That’s not slavery. That’ll be the case when I employ 1,000,000,000 clones of myself. I won’t pay them, but they are me, so it’s not slavery.”