“Yellow circles are friendly. Especially smiley faces.”

“I can’t tell you how much I love kissing ass. Especially wealthy, cellulose-stippled ass. But I’ll smile as big as a personified yellow circle and assure the hiring manager that I was born to serve. I’ll tell him that while other kids wanted to be cops or firemen when they grew up, I wanted to be Florence Nightingale.”

“I look for patterns that nobody else does. Like I noticed that my face looks like a tablecloth. Especially when I have food all over it.”

“I don’t look for faces in clouds, I look for clouds in faces. And the best place to look is at the face of my friend, Carl Cumulonimbus, who I nicknamed “Rain Factory,” because he’s always either in a dark and stormy mood, or crying heavily.”

“The only time I like traffic lights turning yellow or red is in the fall.”

“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)”

“Gather the wheelchairs in a circle, and then summon the cripples. Would anybody care for a glass of discrimination?”