“Yesterday I memorized Shakespeare, and tomorrow I'm also going to memorize his first name.”

“I’m sure I look memorable in my tuxedo, and she looks gorgeous in her wedding gown. I’ve wanted to marry her since I first met her. And being the best man doesn’t make me feel better.”

“Maybe is forgettable. Only yes and no are memorable. Be bold with your love and say yes to yes and no to no.”

“His name is Arnold. But you’re not on a first name basis with him, and that’s not his first name. So that’s Mr. Arnold to you. Once you get to know him, he may let you call him by his first name, which is Grafmiller. His middle name is his wife’s maiden name: Maiden. Their maid’s first name is Maiden, and her last name is America. Maiden America, though I think she was made in China.”

“I’ll be 30 in March, and it feels just like yesterday that I thought tomorrow will soon be today.”

“The future is right around the corner from a bar called, “Yesterdays.” I know, I work there every tomorrow.”

“If you could buy time, I would sell it. Yesterday would be expensive, and tomorrow would be cheap.”