“You and I have a love so secret that not even you know about it. But first, let me introduce myself.”

“I have a secret secret admirer. Not only is her identity a secret—but so is the fact that she admires me.
”

“In my closet I have boxes and boxes of secrets. These boxes are all empty, and that’s how you know they’re filled with secrets.”

“If I were facing a firing squad, I’d ask them to hold on just one second, because I have a wedgie and it is very uncomfortable. Let me adjust myself, and then you can shoot me.”

“I am the rainbow of love. Even if things get stormy, you know you can count on me. Call me Roy G. Biv, and I’ll ride you like a pony.”

“My clones will look like me, and therefore I’ll treat them like myself—starting with spending all their hard-earned money. You can’t love someone else if you can’t first love yourself.”

“I knew it, but I knew you didn’t know I knew it, so I knew to not let you know I knew it by acting like I didn’t know it.”