“You are getting a wooden leg for your birthday, and you are going to love it. Incidentally, this means removing your leg below the knee. You’ll make lots of friends. You can even attach a bundle of straw at the end, like a broom, and apply to be a janitor.”

“Yes, but knee pants are so much more flattering. You can see my legs."You want people to see your legs?"I have very nice legs!" We both paused to admire them for a moment.”

“If you’re looking to make a little money on the side like I do, you might want to apply somewhere else. You’d have to wax your legs to make this dress work on you. - Abbey to Kip -”

“Your lot in life? A lot is something you draw, like straws. It's chance. You didn't get this life by chance. You chose it on purpose. If you're dissatisfied from it, you can change it.”

“If your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays?”

“Cole, this would work much smoother if you remove your hand from between my legs.”“Why? Are you gonna be talking with your pussy?”