“You can’t be the best all the time. But that’s what clones are for—to be you while you sleep.”

“My clones will look like me, and therefore I’ll treat them like myself—starting with spending all their hard-earned money. You can’t love someone else if you can’t first love yourself.”

“Making money for my clones, now that’s what I call self-enrichment. Having all my clones working for me, working for free, and enriching me, now that’s what I call social progress. Ah, but that’s life, no?”

“How to duplicate yourself: hang out with the same people and say the same things all the time. The you of today is a clone of the you from yesterday.”

“Don’t be jealous if I spend 50% of my time with you, and 50% of my time with others, because you get 100% of 50%, while all the others have to share that other 50%.” This is the speech I’ve prepared to tell my wife in the future, when I’m spending a majority minus one percent of my time with my clones.”

“Love one person at a time, that’s the motto I’ll try to get my clones to live by.”

“If you had a clone, and you weren’t wearing perfume and your clone was, I’d automatically think your clone was more attractive.”