“You know what I like most about people? Pets. ”
“Most people like winners, but I prefer underdogs. They’re more fun to pet.”
“If you are like most people, then like most people, you don't know you're like most people.”
“When someone tells me they don’t read, I like to walk up to them and stroke their hair, pet it really, because you know who also doesn’t read? My cat. In essence, these people are pitiful, and no better than pets.”
“Some people, well, most people just seem to show up on your life with no clear purpose. Have you noticed that? They're like dust mites. You know they're there, you just don't know what to do about them.”
“Particularly beautiful people were like particularly funny-looking people, though. Once you know them you mostly forgot about it.”