“You may have to dish out more love than me, but I have more love to dish out. Also, it’s your turn to wash dishes.”

“After we made love, I didn’t want her to leave. At least not before she did the dishes.”

“The engine of my car is so powerful I could wash dishes under the hood. But that’d be pretty absurd, since I keep the dishwasher in the trunk.”

“At the potluck, I brought two dishes: knowledge and mashed potatoes and gravy. Guess which one got cleaned out and which one hardly got touched.”

“Love is a gift you receive by giving. The more love you give, the more love you get. Try it out today, and try it out with me. Go ahead—give me all your love.”

“A chef should make a dish using only my words as ingredients. My words will taste great in your mouth.”

“Love isn’t a series of slogans like “Just do it,” “It’s the real thing,” or “Go ahead, stick it in my butt.” Love is much more than that. Love is also a logo. I know, because I have it tattooed on my ass.”