“You’re under no obligation to accept my oppression, but it is strongly recommended. I’ll make you love me, even if I have to impoverish you and then imprison you. –Uncle Sam”

“If you don’t know what love feels like, you’re in luck, because I just finished making a new pair of Love Gloves. They’re lined with fur and are perfect for a cold February 14th winter day. I’ll let you borrow them sometime, maybe even this summer. I recommend wearing them in conjunction with my Sensitivity Pants, which are so tight they show the emotion betrayed by your crotch.”

“I hope you don’t mind, but I took the liberty of taking away your freedoms. –Uncle Sam
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“Is it better to win over the hearts and minds of the people, or imprison them and torture them into telling you they love you? These are the tough decisions a future tyrant, I mean President, may have to make.”

“I am the rainbow of love. Even if things get stormy, you know you can count on me. Call me Roy G. Biv, and I’ll ride you like a pony.”

“I have a protective coating, like a tank. It’s called Love. And when I get you naked, I’ll want to make war to you.”

“With my last breath, I’ll exhale my love for you. I hope it’s a cold day, so you can see what you meant to me.
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