“Spider-Man: The Phoenix Force is a crazy powerful cosmic firebird entity that for some reason seems to be attracted to earthbound redheads (I can relate).”

“(Six claws.. the Spider-God comes.)Wolverine: Spider-God? What the hell?Spider-Man: Yep, that's me, just your friendly neighborhood Spider-God!”

“Sir, we're now introducing the love interest for Spider-Man.""Yes, just make sure it's organic. That it doesn't feel like it comes out of nowhere.""We had her fall on him, Sir.""Classy. I love it.”

“Spider-Man: "Why'd it have to be Logan? If it had been Reed or Tony we would've already built a time machine out of bamboo and palm fronds by now and been on our way.”

“Bobby: So assuming I survive the next 24 hours, where do you want to go on our first date?Kitty: Some place that doesn't allow children.Bobby: The strip club it is.”

“People shouldn’t be forced to categorize themselves as “gay,” “straight,” or “bi.” People are just people. Maybe you’re mostly attracted to men. Maybe you’re mostly attracted to women. Maybe you’re attracted to everyone. These are historical claims — not future predictions. If we truly want to expand the scope of human freedom, we should encourage people to date who they want; not just provide more categorical boxes for them to slot themselves into. A man who has mostly dated men should be just as welcome to date women as a woman who’s mostly dated men.So that’s why I’m not gay. I hook up with people. I enjoy it. Sometimes they’re men, sometimes they’re women. I don’t see why it needs to be any more complicated than that.”

“Let's be serious, I wasn't a jack of all trades. I was just a jack-off of none. A hubristic fool who lived in my mind, certain I was better than everyone. An irredeemable asshole that for some reason people tolerated and occasionally even liked.”