“For every thing that we are, there are a million things that we're not. And usually, those million things are what we really want but can never have.”

“So let's just forget about the whole thing and agree never to speak of it again. And I promise I'll never lie to you again.Ah, but surely you must be saying, "Hey! Isn't this entire story a work of fiction and therefore one big lie?"Perhaps. But we already agreed never to speak of it again.”

“Maybe it's better not to know some things. Mysteries make us tick more than just about anything else.”

“It's extremely easy to be mean to people you don't really know.”

“If they think it's the truth, then they believe it, and if they believe it long enough, then it becomes the truth.”

“The true test of a society isn't how many lies it has; it's how many it believes.”

“Ah, but surely you must now be saying, "waitaminute, tuna fish would go bad if you kept it in your pocket for weeks and weeks without refrigerating it."To that I simply say: You obviously haven't read Professor P.S. Schackman's informative book How to Keep Tuna Fish in Your Pocket for Weeks and Weeks Without it Going Bad. I suggest you read it before complaining about the tuna situation again.”