“Music lets you write your own checks. Don't ever forget that.”

“It's Coke, my man. You really think I'm going to let you pour any more alcohol into your body tonight?”

“Yeah, but a hellbender never dies. You ever see a dead one?”

“Here's how I'll tell you what I think—if you see white smoke then you know I picked a new pope. And if I'm drinking a Snapple then you know I don't give a shit.”

“May your glass always be full, may there always be a roof over your head, and may you dirty sinners be in heaven a half hour before the devil knows you're dead.”

“Nothing else in the whole wide world matters as much as avenging your sister.”

“Henry,that's how you get rid of fleas. You keep them from laying eggs. You go to war with them.”