“If you want your fridge-freezer and your car and a nice house and asphalt on the roads and a health service, then thank the weapons business. Thank the war economy that drives us to this.”

“I'm sure it's not all hot buttered crumpets out there in the breathing world of asphalt and heartbeats.”

“I suggest we depict penguins as callous and unfeeling creatures who insist on bringing up their children in what is little more than a large chest freezer.”

“How many people want to read about three disreputable pigs and a dopey wolf with a disposition towards house demolition?”

“If you ever think you might want a career in politics, Inspector, think again. It's merely a continuous and mostly vain attempt to keep several groups of people with opposing needs and agendas happy, and knowing in your heart of hearts that you cannot, and being lambasted for you hard work in the bargain.”

“Don't get in a blue car on a Thursday.''Which Thursday?''Any Thursday.''What kind of car?''A blue one. On a Thursday.''Okay.”

“If you even think about asking Harry Potter for an autograph, your day ends right now.”