“Prices of semicolons, plot devices, prologues and inciting incidents continued to fall yesterday, lopping twenty points off the TomJones Index.”

“Ill-fitting grammar are like ill-fitting shoes. You can get used to it for a bit, but then one day your toes fall off and you can't walk to the bathroom.”

“[from the television show,"Evade the Question Time"]At the end of the first round, I will award three points to Mr. Kaine for an excellent nonspecific condemnation, plus one bonus point for blaming the previous government and another for successfully mutating the question to promote the party line. Mr. van de Poste gets a point for a firm rebuttal, but only two points for his condemnation, as he tried to inject an impartial and intelligent observation.”

“Love isn't sensible, Red. I think that's the point.”

“Without a yardstick sometimes the high points can be taken for granted.”

“If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher. Overlong, detailed to the point of distraction-and ultimately, without a major resolution.”

“Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,O’er a plan to venge myself upon that cursed Thursday Next-This Eyre affair, so surprising, gives my soul such loath despising,Here I plot my temper rising, rising from my jail of text.“Get me out!” I said, advising, “Pluck me from this jail of text-or I swear I’ll wring your neck!”