“The name is Schitt," he replied. "Jack Schitt.”

Jasper Fforde

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“The youthful stationmaster wore a Blue Spot on his uniform and remonstrated with the driver that the train was a minute late, and that he would have to file a report. The driver retorted that since there could be no material differene between a train that arrived at a station and a station that arrived at a train, it was equally the staionmaster's fault. The stationmaster replied that he could not be blamed, because he had no control over the speed of the station; to which the engine driver replied that the stationmaster could control its placement, and that if it were only a thousand yards closer to Vermillion, the problem would be solved. To this the stationmaster replied that if the driver didn't accept the lateness as his fault, he would move the station a thousand yards farther from Vermillion and make him not just late, but demeritably overdue.”


“Palindrome as well. My sister's name is Hannah. Father liked word games. He was fourteen times World Scrabble Champion. When he died, we buried him at Queenzieburn to make use of the triple word score.”


“You speak baby gibberish?' asked Jack.'Fluently. The adult-education center ran a course, and I have a lot of time on my hands.''So what did he say?''I don't know.''I thought you said you spoke gibberish?''I do. But your baby doesn't. I think he's speaking eitherpre-toddler nonsense, a form of infact burble or an obscure dialect ofgobbledygook. In any event, I can't understand a word he's saying.''Oh.”


“What's with the "iMagic" name change?' I said without preamble.'Industrial Magic was a bit of a mouthful,' he explained. 'Besides, putting an "i"in front of anything makes it more hip and current.”


“This must have been how it all began with Chymes,” sighed Jack. “A smallomission on one case, an ‘embellishment’ on the next. The question is not aboutwhat’s best but what’s right. Chymes had confused the two and compromised notonly his own integrity but that of the police—and the due process of law.”


“Mr. Pewter led them through to a library, filled with thousands ofantiquarian books.'Impressive, eh?''Very,' said Jack. 'How did you amassall these?''Well,' said Pewter, 'You know the person who always borrowsbooks and never gives them back?''Yes...?''I'm that person.”