“You have many fine qualities that I admire. But you are out of time. You should have been born a century ago, when values such as yours meant something.”

“You many have noticed I have a temper ... but when I calmed down, I realized that this world, blighted and imperfect as it is, would be better with you in it.”

“My only companion from the outside world during nineteen years of isolation has been my personal hatred of Thursday Next. It's kind of like the old me suddenly taking over, and I promised myself that this was how I would act if I ever saw you.' 'I have the same thing, but with Tom Stoppard,' I said. 'You'd kill Tom Stoppard?' 'Not at all. I promised myself many years ago that I would throw myself at his feet and scream "I'm not worthy!" if I ever met him, so now if we're ever at the same party or something, I have to be at pains to avoid him. It would be undignified, you see—for him and for me.”

“Reading, I had learned, was as creative a process as writing, sometimes more so. When we read of the dying rays of the setting sun or the boom and swish of the incoming tide, we should reserve as much praise for ourselves as for the author. After all, the reader is doing all the work - the writer might have died long ago.”

“A missing arm might ruin your symmetry. Personal asymmetry where I come from is a big taboo and brings great shame on the family and sometimes even the whole village.""Do you then have to kill yourself over it or something?""Goodness me, no! The family and village just have to learn to be ashamed--and nuts to them for being so oversensitive.”

“You speak baby gibberish?' asked Jack.'Fluently. The adult-education center ran a course, and I have a lot of time on my hands.''So what did he say?''I don't know.''I thought you said you spoke gibberish?''I do. But your baby doesn't. I think he's speaking eitherpre-toddler nonsense, a form of infact burble or an obscure dialect ofgobbledygook. In any event, I can't understand a word he's saying.''Oh.”

“History has rewritten itself so many times I'm not really sure how it was to begin with -- it's a bit like trying to guess the original color of a wall when it's been repainted eight times.”