“My secret is cool and mysterious like a jagged scar across my chest, and not dull and heavy like I gave up church buy not the angst.”

“I am one man with a laptop. When I give the world my characters, it's because I don't want to keep them for myself. You don't like what I made them do? Fucking tell me I'm wrong! Rewrite the story. Throw in a new plot twist. Make up your own ending.”

“You can't stay fucked up forever, can you? You need to start putting yourself out there and getting humiliated like the rest of us. Only then will you be a Real Boy”

“I can tell I'm being annoying, the kind of annoying where it feels like I haven't showered for days and everyone should just stay away.”

“God is like junior high, Brandon. Graduate already.”

“Abel snores pornographically, like a prince sleeping off an orgy.”

“... Brandon's going to talk to a B-O-Y, and -""What?""That's your assignment tonight. You converse in public with a boy. You've heard of them, right? They're like girls, but with penises?”