“I’m too big of a fan of sin and debauchery to be a Christian.”

“Perhaps when I was a child. Then my brain fully developed and I started thinking about the logic. The Christian life is no life for this man. I have a potent predilection for the whiskey, weed and women. I like to defile all three of them, sometimes simultaneously. But yeah, it isn’t the fairytale within the bible that makes me such an infidel, I just couldn’t suffer waking up early on Sundays to praise a magical being that lacks significant proof.”

“No. This was a crude and adolescent way of talking to the fairer gender, it rarely works. When it does work, the woman that falls for it isn’t even suitable for a satisfying sexual encounter. A good way to weed out the poor decisions and unacceptable mistakes though, and a better way to catch a horrible case of the dick rot. Trial and error. A few hit points missing is better for skill gain anyway.”

“Most Tea Party members are old pride-filled morons who have no good reasoning to concern themselves with politics, just tired old self-righteous and self-proclaimed patriots wanting to start some type of Nazi-like revolution, mainly because they hate Obama and they have a dumb sense that their lives and generation is quickly coming to a halt and none of them like it. They claim they don’t want their rights stripped away from them, so they will do anything in their power to stop that, including stripping away the rights of others.”

“Death. I’ve taunted it for years with confidence and courage. It has taken years for me to realize that it wasn’t courage at all, it was the complete opposite; weakness. Bad habits and vulgar sensibilities are my disease. The only cure is dignity and shame, how tragic that I seem lack both.”

“Now I stand on the edge of a new world, a new life; pondering what type of fortunes and catastrophes await me. Bring it on, I’ve handled a generous amount of profound and weird shit in my lifetime that the universe could sling at me and I have always walked away more seasoned. Through blunder and mishap I’ve grown wise and callused, and I’ve risen from the aftermath as a warrior, a grandmaster, a champion of bad virtues and noble intentions.”

“I don’t understand people’s constantneed to pretend that as a species we are good on a primary level, when in fact we’ve had prisons and punishments for thousands of years and people still do whatever the fuck they want, that should clue us in that we are all wired with evil and malevolent intent. Then I realize as long as you don’t get caught in your iniquities, it really doesn’t matter to anyone.”