“If somebody doesn't call me a bitch once a day, I figure I'm not doing my job.”

“You're earlier than expected, and appear to have gotten through the day without destroying any article of clothing. I must note this event down on my calendar.""Bitch when I'm late, bitch when I'm early. You could go pro on the bitching circuit.”

“Have I missed a national holiday? There must be celebrations in the streets for you to be home at this hour of the day.""I'm calling it Summerset Goes Mute Day. The city's gone mad with joy.”

“I'm a barrel of monkeys, kid, though mostly I figure monkeys stuck in a barrel are just going to be pissed off.”

“No. No, I don't believe you'd betray me with her. I don't believe you'd cheat on me. But I'm afraid, and I'm sick in my heart that you might look at her, then at me. And regret.”

“Lord, Give me the strength not to bitch slap this woman.”

“I know you love me, but I don't know why. I look at you and I just can't get why it's me. Every time I get my balance, I lose it again. Because it shouldn't be me, and I think it'd kill me if you ever figured that out.”