“If somebody doesn't call me a bitch once a day, I figure I'm not doing my job.”

“I told you we're close!""Yeah, so are me and my asshole! Doesn't mean I'm going to call it twice a day!”

“My mind and gut are never simpatico: Every time I think somebody likes me, she doesn't; every time I think somebody doesn't like me, she does. This has never changed and I'm certain it never will.”

“I'm just an individual who doesn't feel that I need to have somebody qualify my work in any particular way. I'm working for me.”

“Just because I'm a murdering, thieving, cowardly, traitorous sort doesn't mean I can't do my job properly.”

“Oh! Thanks for the public service announcement about what not to do in college, Mr. Eighteen-year-old-frat-boy-with-eleventy-billion-'serious'-girlfriends-under-his-belt! Get in the fucking car. You're a mean drunk. You haven't seen me mean, mama's boy!I told you we're close!Yeah, so are me and my asshole! Doesn't mean I'm going to call it twice a day!You're a bitch! Take. Me. Home. I'd love to, if you'd get in the fucking car!”